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Letter from Birmingham
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axeme Offline
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Post: #1
 
Quote:> -----Original Message-----
> From: Reflections on Saturday [SMTP:reflectionsonsaturday@yahoo.com]
> Sent: Wednesday, September 24, 2003 12:30 PM
> To: reflectionsonsaturday@yahoo.com
> Subject: ALABAMA 16 NIU 19

Thank you for calling Reflections on Saturday. Unfortunately I am unable to take your call at the moment because I have retreated to the warm safety of my happy place. Please leave your name and number at the beep.
Greeting Bama Fans, I thought it might be wise to pound out the weekly email prior to the barbiturates kicking in. You know, I really do need a standing prescription at the local pharmacy for autumn afternoons such as these. Sure, I can keep showing up at my primary care physician's office complaining of headaches that result in temporary blindness (I know I didn't just see that), hallucinations (I must have dreamed it, isn't that right dancing chicken!), uncontrollable anger (I didn't dream it! Hold
the freakin' ball!), anxiety (Sweet Christ! We're gonna lose!), and depression (every moment since), but wouldn't be a hell of a lot easier for all parties involved
if I could just hop over to the Wal-Mart on Skyland Blvd during halftime and pick up something for the ol' nerves so when the last ditch effort to come from behind against a MAC team falls short I don't scare the small children in my section by spouting off a long-winded, meaningless diatribe aimed at no one in particular and concluding with profanity and tears.  If I wasn't already self-medicating to a degree
that would cause Hunter Thompson to organize an intervention (no need to tell the poor bastard about all those bats) I'd probably just leave the television on the
Cartoon Network each Saturday and zone out, ignoring the painful urge to switch to the ESPN scrolling ticker to catch a glimpse of the score.
Denial ain't just for Boogs.
> Really though, should I be all that surprised that we dropped this game.  At the beginning of each and every season don't I attempt, in some small way, to prepare myself for the almost certain reality of losing a game we shouldn't lose and winning a game we shouldn't win (at least we still have that one to look forward to). Withthe notable exception of last year, you have to go all the way back to 1995 to find a season where we didn't have a big scarlet L sitting beside a name like La Tech or Central Florida or Ole Miss or Kentucky. I'm already dreading next year's game against Utah State a thousand times more than I would have dreaded a trip to Happy Valley. Penn State we can handle. Western Carolina?
Who the hell knows. Who will be the next team that will hang the biggest win in their program's history on the Crimson Tide?
If I'm taking any consolation at all from Saturday's setback, at least losing to the team favored to win the MAC doesn't appear to be as absolutely horrible as I would have imagined, and, in reality, this NIU club would pound the blue hell out of those La Tech and UCF teams. Yes dear reader, I realize that this small consolation holds about as much importance and comfort as having your bride shoot you in the head during your wedding vows and emerging from you coma two weeks later to find there was no extra charge for late return of the tux. Sorry, here come the drugs.
My God the sky is beautiful.
Where was I? Oh yea, I don't believe the end of the world is nigh. In
fact, this team is still capable of doing some great things this year, not because we're exactly world beaters, but because no one on our schedule is either.
So, if I may be indulged for a moment, I would like to pull out a re-take from a 1999 Reflections that sums up my feelings about this weekend's game with the Pork Products from Northwest Arkansas:
'I would like to take a minute, if I might, to talk like a crazy man.
BRING ON ARKANSAS! We're gonna kick your asses all the way back to Fayetteville.
> Revenge is ours! Seriously though, I know this sounds crazy, but I still expect to win. I still expect to beat a team like Arkansas. I still believe that our coaches
will somehow find religion over the next five days and come up with a game plan to stop the Hogs and move the ball. I plan on getting there early, raising a little hell, and watching the Tide right the ship. BRING ON ARKANSAS! Thank you for bearing with me.'
> I hate to have to make such a bold prediction coming off yet another heart-wrenching loss (this was originally posted after our second consecutive loss to the football powerhouse that is La Tech), and it pains me to no end that the coaching staff I was referring to in that 1999 blurb was four staffs ago, but the intent and feeling still hold true. I had the Hogs circled since the beginning of the
season. I know they've beat Texas since then, and that was a great win for them, and for this conference, but Arkansas is no different than we are. You can count on them to play over there heads at some point during the season and then fall flat on their asses at some point later on.
Does anyone even realize that this is the #9 team in the nation that's coming to TitleTown this weekend? #9! Most of 'em will be walking across our beautiful quad sporting plastic pig hats for God's sake!
It's time to get up for this game. Another Top 10 opponent in BDS. By God!
We will defend our turf. We will be loud, we will be chaotic, we will be the difference. It has gone on long enough. And it stops this week. Will our special teams find religion? Will Shaud find the hole? Will I
find my seat with horse tranquilizers pumping through my system?
Dig a pit folks. Time for roast pig.
This is the week we redefine what home field advantage means in central Alabama.
> Starting this week teams hobble out of here with an L and they can spend the next week piling up excuses.
I'm sure as hell tired of it.
Somebody pass the KC Masterpiece.
Time to gnaw on a hambone.
Roll Damn Tide!
=====
> "What the hell's the matter with you people down there? Don't y'all take
> your football seriously?" -- Coach Bryant, upon calling Auburn at 6 AM
> only to find out that none of the coaches were in their offices yet.

I get this from a buddy down south and while I don't like the Tide, it usually entertaining, especially when they lose. 03-lol
09-25-2003 11:14 AM
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HuskieDan Offline
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Post: #2
 
Holy stream of consciousness, Batman!! 03-lol
09-25-2003 01:47 PM
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