08-26-2008, 08:46 AM
v. Tulsa
Joe Webb accounts for 500 yards of offense. Gets a little "feel good" Heisman buzz and 40 whole seconds on next week's GAMEDAY. The Birmingham News mentions it in 2 point font, page 6, just below the "feel good" story of the high school punter in Idaho with the club foot.
UAB 48, Tulsa 41
1-0, 1-0
@ FAU
Dragons vs Owls? C'mon.
UAB 42, FAU 38
2-0, 1-0
@ Tennessee
The porn star puts on a show, keeping UT in abysmal field position all day, and scoring the winning points. Finebaum apologies to Callaway. Callaway backs over him in parking lot.
UAB 17, Tennessee 14
3-0, 2-0
v. Alabama State
The Blazers pull off a bizarre two-fer as the football team handles the Hornets, and the marching Blazers stun State's band.
UAB 48, Alabama State 13
4-0, 1-0
@ South Carolina
The Blazer D comes to play,stunning the chickens. Spurrier bites off head of SC starting QB, earning him SEC sanctions and his own Mtv reality show.
UAB 24, South Carolina 10
5-0, 1-0
v. Memphis
The universe returns to its natural order.
UAB 31 Memphis 20
6-0, 2-0
@ Houston
Because I said so.
UAB 28 ouston 24
7-0, 3-0
v. Marshall
They've beat us in three heart-breakers. This year, the pendulum swings.
UAB 31, Marshall 28
8-0, 4-0
@ Southern Miss
Somewhere, Jeff Bower laughs.
UAB 21 outhern Miss 16
9-0, 5-0
@ Tulane
The offense continues to fire on all cylnders, despite having to whisper in the huddle due to an empty Superdome.
UAB 31 Tulane 21
10-0, 6-0
v. ECU
Game's in Birmingham, right? Pirates fumble away game-tying PAT in front of an SRO Legion Field.
UAB 27 ECU 26
11-0, 7-0 And a #14 BCS ranking. Finebaum callers unanimous, 6-5 Tahd team would still beat them, but shouldn't play them, because that would legitimize them. Dragonbreath just glad basketball season is finally starting.
@ UCF
That Webb guy, again. SI puts him on the cover, as "They guy who SHOULD win the Heisman, but won't."
UAB 35 UCF 27
12-0, 8-0 And a #13 BCS ranking. The Birmingham News sports page leads with the headline "SABAN IS JUST DREAMY, alabama-birmingham, not as bad as we thought.".
CUSA Championship
Same as before.
UAB 24 Houston 14.
13-0, 9-0, And a giddy BCS #9. Tuscaloosa extends Saban's contract, increasing his salary to $6 mil a year. BoT signs off on it.
BCS game
Tim Tebow, meet Joe Henderson. Somewhere, Steve Spurrier laughs.
UAB 28 UF 10, And a #4 final BCS ranking. BoT approves raise for Callaway, bumping his salary to $300,010 annually.
Barkeep, a shot of KoolAid for the house!
Joe Webb accounts for 500 yards of offense. Gets a little "feel good" Heisman buzz and 40 whole seconds on next week's GAMEDAY. The Birmingham News mentions it in 2 point font, page 6, just below the "feel good" story of the high school punter in Idaho with the club foot.
UAB 48, Tulsa 41
1-0, 1-0
@ FAU
Dragons vs Owls? C'mon.
UAB 42, FAU 38
2-0, 1-0
@ Tennessee
The porn star puts on a show, keeping UT in abysmal field position all day, and scoring the winning points. Finebaum apologies to Callaway. Callaway backs over him in parking lot.
UAB 17, Tennessee 14
3-0, 2-0
v. Alabama State
The Blazers pull off a bizarre two-fer as the football team handles the Hornets, and the marching Blazers stun State's band.
UAB 48, Alabama State 13
4-0, 1-0
@ South Carolina
The Blazer D comes to play,stunning the chickens. Spurrier bites off head of SC starting QB, earning him SEC sanctions and his own Mtv reality show.
UAB 24, South Carolina 10
5-0, 1-0
v. Memphis
The universe returns to its natural order.
UAB 31 Memphis 20
6-0, 2-0
@ Houston
Because I said so.
UAB 28 ouston 24
7-0, 3-0
v. Marshall
They've beat us in three heart-breakers. This year, the pendulum swings.
UAB 31, Marshall 28
8-0, 4-0
@ Southern Miss
Somewhere, Jeff Bower laughs.
UAB 21 outhern Miss 16
9-0, 5-0
@ Tulane
The offense continues to fire on all cylnders, despite having to whisper in the huddle due to an empty Superdome.
UAB 31 Tulane 21
10-0, 6-0
v. ECU
Game's in Birmingham, right? Pirates fumble away game-tying PAT in front of an SRO Legion Field.
UAB 27 ECU 26
11-0, 7-0 And a #14 BCS ranking. Finebaum callers unanimous, 6-5 Tahd team would still beat them, but shouldn't play them, because that would legitimize them. Dragonbreath just glad basketball season is finally starting.
@ UCF
That Webb guy, again. SI puts him on the cover, as "They guy who SHOULD win the Heisman, but won't."
UAB 35 UCF 27
12-0, 8-0 And a #13 BCS ranking. The Birmingham News sports page leads with the headline "SABAN IS JUST DREAMY, alabama-birmingham, not as bad as we thought.".
CUSA Championship
Same as before.
UAB 24 Houston 14.
13-0, 9-0, And a giddy BCS #9. Tuscaloosa extends Saban's contract, increasing his salary to $6 mil a year. BoT signs off on it.
BCS game
Tim Tebow, meet Joe Henderson. Somewhere, Steve Spurrier laughs.
UAB 28 UF 10, And a #4 final BCS ranking. BoT approves raise for Callaway, bumping his salary to $300,010 annually.
Barkeep, a shot of KoolAid for the house!
