Thanks for putting me to sleep. That guy sounds like most cartel big mouths and one of them comes to our board. He's really boring like this guy, uh, I feel refreshed now. Time to do something worthwhile now, I'm out of here, have to cut my grass, no, not that grass the kind you smoke. he,he, j/k (about the grass).
That was boring to you? Fair enough, I thought it had some funny moments.
No problem Perry, I just have a different sense of humor than some people. There's actually people that think Saturday Night Live is funny. I'm more into the Seinfeld, George Lopez, Frasier, Two and a half men kind of humor. Thanks anyway, I'm sure some liked it.
Perry, here is what I consider funny! I hope you like them:
Maybe some one will get chuckle out of this.
Charles
Subject: Olympics Funnies
Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators so far
during the Summer Olympics that they would like to take back:
1. Weightlifting commentator: 'This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw
her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.'
2. Dressage commentator: 'This is really a lovely horse and I speak from
personal experience since I once mounted her mother.'
3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: 'I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother
and father.'
4. Boxing Analyst: 'Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths
in boxing, but none of them really that serious.'
5. Softball announcer: 'If history repeats itself, I should think we can
expect the same thing again.'
6. Basketball analyst: 'He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't
like
it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.'
7. At the rowing medal ceremony: 'Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the
IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew.'
8. Soccer commentator: 'Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've
got
eleven Dicks on the field.'
9. Tennis commentator: 'One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is
that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses
them... Oh my God, what have I just said?'
Those are really good too...hell, funny is funny!
Is one of the ten, playing SMU? I'm sure lots of CUSA fans are marking that date as a "W".
8) Your girlfriend/wife questioning your sanity
Somewhere between the broken remote control and you shouting repeated obscenities at a 37”-inch Samsung LCD TV, it’s bound to happen.
"‘You’re crazy.’
She’s right. You are ******* crazy. You’re bat-****. And you know it. Then again, it’s the fall. 90,000 other people in hundreds of American cities go bat-**** every Saturday.
She just doesn’t understand. She’s a woman. And women are irrational. Women are so irrational they don’t understand why you spend 15% of your salary on season tickets and love your starting quarterback and hate your starting quarterback and love your starting quarterback and let the actions of 19 year-old strangers dictate your mood for one-fourth of the Caesarian calendar.
They just don't get it. Crazy bitches."
aha, its funny cause its true
6) Breaking the spirit of the irritating small-school fan
You know that guy in your office, who invariably went to some non-BCS school, that’s more of an annoying **** than Gilbert Gottfried in a full ****** outfit? You know, the guy who cheers for the impossibly mediocre program yet has unbearably high expectations at the start of every season?
“Man, I don’t know, I just have this feeling this year. If our transfer JUCO QB can come around and the 12 freshmen on our offensive line can step up, I think our brand-new inexperienced coordinator will have a lot to work with and it won't really matter than our only scholarship running back runs a 23-minute 40. Shoot, we might surprise some folks in the [insert conference of choice].”
No, you aren’t surprising anyone. Your team's mascot should be Danny Devito. Your favorite team is a legalized midget. And yet every year you display the same ****-me-in-the-brain hope syndrome.
And last year only made things worse. Giving these assholes the parity-driven ‘07 season was like handing a homeless guy the keys to a non-existant Jaguar. False hope abounds.
South Florida. Boston College. Appalachian State. Kansas.
Thanks Football Gods. Now, dumb assholes everywhere think teams like the Tulane Green Wave are going to pull a BCS six-peat.
At the start of the season, these small-time dreamers are more annoying than big-school blowhards.
But, come October, when their team is sporting a fat 3-loss lip, the bounce in their step has been replaced by cold, hard, satisfying reality.
SO true.