10-24-2004, 01:06 AM
[COLOR=blue]2004: AMERICA'S TIGERS
Memphis State Tiger fans, your school might just be heirs to the title of **AMERICA'S TEAM!**
Americans LOVE to root for the underdog, and what better way to do that than rallying behind an unheard-of, blue-collar college in a third-rate, non-BCS conference that changes members more often than Cher visits plastic surgeons?
Like a fat kid on "Montel" revealing to the studio audience that he has AIDS, your school's plight speaks to the very SOUL of thousands of Americans who can remember the pain of standing in front of the other kids on the playground after they wet themselves.
They remember that pain, and they CHEER for you!!!
They cheer because they know the guts it takes to stare up at the empty canyon of the Liberty Bowl week after brutal week, wondering why no one comes to watch the epic struggles with powerhouses like Chattanooga State and East Carolina!
They cheer because they have been there through the historic legacy of the school, watching as DeVry Memphis became Memphis Tech, then Memphis State, then the University of Memphis, as they SCREAMED faithfully year after fruitless, miserable year, "GO TIGER HIGH, ***GO***!!!"
But mostly they cheer because they will work as ONE with the products of Memphis University, Ph.D's, B.A.'s, and B.S.'s, side-by-side, in the chicken plants of eastern Arkansas and the quick stops of White Chapel.
So here's to *YOU*, Tigers! May your 2004 live up to EVERY BIT of the overwhelming cathartic promise offered by your 2003. Go forth and labor, knowing that unto to college football you are the ever-sought-after family size cartons of double-roll Charmin at Sam's Club, capably fulfilling your role for MONTHS despite your cheap price and bulk packaging!
GO FORTH, knowing AMERICA IS WITH YOU!
Memphis State Tiger fans, your school might just be heirs to the title of **AMERICA'S TEAM!**
Americans LOVE to root for the underdog, and what better way to do that than rallying behind an unheard-of, blue-collar college in a third-rate, non-BCS conference that changes members more often than Cher visits plastic surgeons?
Like a fat kid on "Montel" revealing to the studio audience that he has AIDS, your school's plight speaks to the very SOUL of thousands of Americans who can remember the pain of standing in front of the other kids on the playground after they wet themselves.
They remember that pain, and they CHEER for you!!!
They cheer because they know the guts it takes to stare up at the empty canyon of the Liberty Bowl week after brutal week, wondering why no one comes to watch the epic struggles with powerhouses like Chattanooga State and East Carolina!
They cheer because they have been there through the historic legacy of the school, watching as DeVry Memphis became Memphis Tech, then Memphis State, then the University of Memphis, as they SCREAMED faithfully year after fruitless, miserable year, "GO TIGER HIGH, ***GO***!!!"
But mostly they cheer because they will work as ONE with the products of Memphis University, Ph.D's, B.A.'s, and B.S.'s, side-by-side, in the chicken plants of eastern Arkansas and the quick stops of White Chapel.
So here's to *YOU*, Tigers! May your 2004 live up to EVERY BIT of the overwhelming cathartic promise offered by your 2003. Go forth and labor, knowing that unto to college football you are the ever-sought-after family size cartons of double-roll Charmin at Sam's Club, capably fulfilling your role for MONTHS despite your cheap price and bulk packaging!
GO FORTH, knowing AMERICA IS WITH YOU!
